1. |
SHARK WEEK
04:52
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(VERSE1)
there's blood in the water, and it's stirrin' up them sharks
I got her A&W but she said, "I wanted BARQS!!!"
She find me eatin' burgers I'm like "Hey, you want a bite, hun?"
And she like "FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER WHY YOU COULDN'T GET ME SOME?!"
And we try and share spaghetti, do like Lady and the Tramp
But I ain't even in the picture, cuz it's Lady and her Cramp
No there ain't no silver. There ain't no lining.
Floodin' out like the elevator scene in the shining.
No party at my place, cuz my lady says, "NO BROS'IN"
And when she mad she look like Jack Nicholson when he frozen
She be poundin' on it, bouncin' on it, showin' me her teeth
Man, they look like them pointy things you find at Myrtle Beach
When I'm laughin' and I'm jokin' she be sayin, "ACT YOUR AGE!"
It's like I fell into the ocean in a rinky dink cage
When I mix the Trifectum, wine, beer, and jager bomb
She be goin' crazy bitchin' 'bout that endomitrium.
(CHORUS)
she keep 'em stashed down in her pocket, my cock she gonna block it
she shockin' when she talkin' cuz she talkin' so toxic
if it wasn't for that cycle, women wouldn't hate their men
wouldn't bust their balls and swim away shakin' their dorsal fins
yeah she bent over, but that's a cramp stance
hang a sign up on that pussy sayin' "Closed for Maintenance"
what's that supposed to be, a ketchup stain on your coat?
You should have bought super+ or maybe just a bigger boat.
(VERSE 2)
she be curled up in bed, adhesive pad start heatin'
then I think, "That's what you get, you got us thrown up outta Eden."
I'm a man, understand? I need to bust a nut loose.
I'm like "That booty ain't bleedin'." And she's like "FUCK YOU!"
I thought I'd get it in, sorry for all the confusion.
I guess I'll hit ya up when I need a transfusion.
Next time I'll hit it quick before she lets the painters in,
but I admit I like some ketchup, on my steak now and then
But I'd rather ride a train to that ovulation station
Eat some egg drop soup and rawdog it till I'm Asian
No she ain't a killer whale, but she says, "I'm so bloated!"
And I'm afraid she's gonna blast because she keep that tampon loaded.
Now I know she don't mean it, that's just Uncle Red speakin'
She always out for blood like it's Vampire Weekend
She be bitchin' about that lap bar when we rollercoastin'
I know that bitch ain't loaded she just endomitriosin'.
(CHORUS)
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2. |
(SHAKE 'DAT) ASSBURGER
03:52
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(VERSE 1)
she knows that I'm in love and the she knows I like surprises
she got me new dunks, and they both be different sizes
and everywhere we go she always gotta bring a bible
she don't go to church, she says she just likes the title
I like warm weather, and she always brings the heat
took her to rango 3D and she kept jumpin' out her seat
now she don't eat me, and no she don't like the bone
she talks to her salad, says it wants to phone home
at that cracker barrell man she always winnin' at that peg game
only leaves one cuz i'm her number one, mane
and if I leave 3 she starts screaming and kickin'
decoratin' all the walls with the chicken fried chicken
she's all about some fashion, all her colors always clashin
you'll never see her in a pair of socks that be matchin
and how would you know, cuz she ain't showin' toe
it's prob'ly cuz them jeans is hemmed 5 inches from the floor
she don't care about the weather but she knowin' every pattern
and when she play tetherball she callin' beatin' saturn
and when she on a pogo ball she calls it stompin' saturn
I got her moon shoes, and she's like "I see a pattern"
(CHORUS)
I'm havin' a mac attack, a back attack
cuz she's starin' at the wall like "that's a tack"
she wanna stack some blocks, like I stack my racks
she likes to draw pictures of mice and rats
and yeah she likes to stare at my shamballa beads
and then she falls asleep cuz I'm her only special need
now ya get too close and you might get murdered
watch her drop it like it's hot and shake that assburger.
(VERSE2)
my girl she say I'm kissable, I'm sayin' that she dickable
if opposites attract then it's a fact, I'm neurotypical
I tell her iFFy's playin' Myrtle, have you ever seen the ocean?
she says "Showbiz, bitch, I like the Rock-A-Fire explosion."
sometimes she calls me Doug because she says I'm so Funny
last night she stole my wallet, made some oragami money
she likes bedtime stories, pillow talk makes her sick
she says it gets so boring, then she Phillip K's my Dick.
when she's sleepin' she be walkin, night terror moshin'.
she's got a shit ton of siblings like her name was Gosling.
I'm her slammer, she's my last POG, I hit it then she blast off
and after that we're sleepin' back-to-back like playin' Catdog.
my girl's so smart her brain's the universe: expanding
she talk conspiracies and don't believe in the moon landing
beam me up, hottie. I wanna see that body.
she like me as I am, but I think she wanna mod me.
she ain't paranoid, she just thinks our neighbors [are] clones
call her Dan Akroyd, not that pussy Alex Jones
she'll take a nut in the mouth and two nuts if it's Dopple
but not before it's diamond-filtered, Crystalhead bottled
my momma don't get her she says, "Is that girl stupid?
can't you post your IQ on OK Cupid?"
autistic? shit, I just say she's au'TASTIC
she's my super duper derper berger shakin' cuz she spastic.
(CHORUS)
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